12 June 2011

Take your talents fishing.

20 February 2011

coco and kelly

these women terrify me.

they are wnba twins coco and kelly miller. have you ever read this blog? do you think they write it? probably not, huh?

17 February 2011

Ron Ron and Baby Jesus

I love Ron Ron. From Twitter:

i just got a call from from jesus he says you are the worst player in the history of the game but i love you thanks jesus

23 November 2010

Damn SNAP!! Interesting Year Ahead Of Us

1.) Tony Parker cheated on his wife!! Yikes! With his ex-teammates wife? San Antonio is off to a great start. I think 12-1 so far? Seems like Lit'l Tone Tone hasn't let this be a distraction. Is Brent Barry's wife better or worse looking than the desperate housewife? Will Tone rebound with some other Hollywood actress? Is Tim Duncan ashamed of how un-wholesome Lit'l Tone has been?

2) The Miami Heat are 8-6 (last year at this point, without Lebron & Bosh they were 9-5!) Miami has lost both games so far this year to the Boston Celtics. Do we even care? Were the Heat better without the addition of Lebron and Chris Bosh? Is Trevor Ariza better than Chris Bosh? Is Chris Bosh the new Sam Cassell aka ugliest NBA'r? Or is that still with Steve Blake and that nasty Scola guy from Houston?

3) Greg Oden out for the rest of the year, what a shocker!! He has played 82 games in three seasons? Should he go back to Ohio State? Is Greg Oden washed up? Is he too old for the NBA? Should Greg Oden just focus on white college chicks and not on basketball anymore? Is Greg Oden a pimp? Is Greg Oden the new Benjamin Button? Was he born an old man and is getting younger by the years?

22 April 2010

Lebron Who?

"I understand a lot of teams would like to make me shoot jumpers and keep me out of the paint," James said. "That's what I would do if I was guarding me, but I wouldn't talk to me if I was guarding me. I would just let me play my game."

Wait what Lebron? Me I my...

11 November 2009

Neckeo Spikes

For those of you who don't know who this man is, he is Takeo Spikes (aka TKO or "The Knock Out"), a Linebacker for our San Francisco 49ers. Our research department here at TJT has informed me that the name means either "Strong Like Bamboo" or "Warrior Hero." He was apparently named after Japan's 66th Prime Minister Takeo Miki. I prefer strong like bamboo, but regardless, as you can see, he is a man you don't want to fuck with. Only a man like this is tough enough to date former Mrs. Mack-10, or as she is more commonly referred to, as T-Boz of famed R&B group TLC.

What interests me most about Takeo isn't the origins of his name or which ill-fated R&B star he is dating, but the size of his neck. Seriously... it's gnarly. His neck/head area kinda looks like a big penis. His neck is larger than his head, it's probably larger than my thigh. Which begs the question... how does a man like this hang upside while wearing a bolo tie? It would slide right off. I guess there are some downsides to having an incredibly buff neck.

06 November 2009

Friday Night Abs

Excellent news. Friday Night Lights has returned to the airwaves each Thursday night. Bad news. You have to have Direct TV unless you want to wait until January to watch it on NBC. Good news. I have a friend with Direct TV and a boyfriend with a talent for downloading stuff for me to watch. Amazing news. Riggins is back.

Tim Riggins is a seriously hot babe played by Taylor Kitsch. I highly recommend that you watch this show if you aren't already. It is filmed in Austin, features good ole fashion Texas football and most importantly, Tim Riggins. Riggins's character is that of a whiskey and beer drinking small town borderline dummy with intense abs and a tendency to be really hot always. His hair is always kind of wet in a non greasy oil fest manner. He can wear tight Lee jeans and boots which is a tough look in real life, but is perfect on this hot "eye candy" as Cosmo Girl calls him. On the show, he is funny and sometimes boffs older ladies, which gives us hope. In real life he's 30 which makes us feel less pervy!

Oh and the football games are really athleticky.

28 October 2009

Vanessa Bryant vs. KhlOdom.

We here at TJT are doing an over under on the length of time until Khloe is mean girled with poo by Kobe's one and only (HA!), Vanessa. Everyone at the Staples Center knows that Vanessa has ruled the roost since her senior year of high school. She doesn't need Lamar's publicity stunt marriage to Khloe (p.s. can't someone fix the way she spells her stupid name?) to overshadow her reign. Not to mention the fact that Khloe has to bring her botox frozen faced sex tape rump roast sister, Kim, to every game with her. I think Vanessa could take both of these nasty LA skanks OC style. All we need is Eva Longoria and we'll have a wicked cat fight.

What do you think?

2009/2010 Los Angeles Lakers 1-0

Hello Bling.

Well, we'll take it. Barely barely sorta kinda a win is still a win. Even though the Clippers didn't have their (weird looking) rookie Blake Griffin, the Lakers pulled it out. Andrew Bynum had 26 points 13 rebounds (what!! really??) and Kobesters ended up with 33pts 8 rebs. Not bad. The Lakers "D" could've been a bit tighter but whatever, it's opening game.

Celtics? Nah... Too old...
Cavaliers? Nah... One man shows don't win rings...
Lakers? Yep... Just too deep...

Most of the haters are already predicting a Lakers Celtics finals with the Celtics taking it. Kenny Smith and Sir Chuck Barkley are the only two that pick the Lakers in this clip...

That one clown Kevin McHale says a Celtics Spurs finals? Really? Get a clue...

03 October 2009

Obrigado Brazil!!!!

The 2016 Olympic push by President Barack Obama for his hometown of Chicago didn't quite work out in US&A's favor. Considering that TJT is a world famous jock sports blog, I think the Olympics are reason enough for more people around the globe to follow these passionate and riveting stories, our live blog feeds, our truly groundbreaking up to minute news updates, etc. Some consider us to be all or some the following - 60 minutes, TMZ, 20/20, and News Hour, all combined, but dealing with sports of course. You know, star athletes such as, Michelle Jordan, Joan Montana, Nolan O'Ryan, and Dwyane Gretzky.

Well anyways, Congratulations Rio, and Brazil. Even though we will win more gold medals than you, or Russia, or China, or any other country, we still are happy you get to host the Olympic Games in 2016.

Obrigado for reading the most pointless post yet on TJT - a lot of nothing about nothing.

30 September 2009

Wizardly football madness.

Hi you guys. Did you miss us? We have been too busy to blog because we've been downloading iphone apps for fantasy football season. We all joined a league! I have been busy trying to decide whether I should play my QB Aaron Rodgers (he's kinda cute!) or my back up Jet Mark Sanchez. He's a newby but he's doing pretty good. My friend Dr. Ballz and I have also been busy trying to figure out the difference between a TE and a WR. I only know that my boyfriend Tim Riggins is a TE. So far out of the three bloggers, (Dr. Ballz, Mr. Rad Pants, and myself) I am winning (by one point) and I figure it's because I have a team that was created based on my desire to have a fabulous assortment of names among my players. I've got Chad Ochocinco, Santonio Holmes, and Jerious Norwood. I keep them straight by remembering the following things: orecchiette pasta, Santino Rice from Project Runway, and Norbit.

Fantasy football is amazing.

27 July 2009

Look At Me, I'm Soooo Weird

Drew Gooden!

Scot Pollard!
Dennis Rodman!
These guys are cartoon characters posing as NBA players.

It's actually nice to see athletes (all sports)
that aren't the typical standard. But, when
you're trying way too hard to look like you
just went on a shopping spree at Hot Topic
or the local goth shop in town, TJT has a problem.

17 July 2009

R.I.P. Little Death

What a sad day for Mexican Wrestling, but we must move on.

We at TJT will spend years grieving over the deaths of La Parkita aka Little Death and Espectrito, Jr. These two Mexican Lucha Mini wrestlers were both 35, both twins, identical of each other. Weird right? Twins? So weird. But moving along... Two female prostetutes robbed, then drugged these sweet little guys and ended up killing them - purposely.

From TotalProSports - The two men were 35-year-old twin brothers Alberto and Alejandro Jimenez and the story goes as follows. Following a show on Sunday night in Mexico City the two were checking into a hotel when they were approached by a couple of prostitutes. They went to the room but hours later only the women left the hotel. When hotel staff noticed the wrestlers did not leave with the women, they went to go check the room only to find Alberto and Alejandro lying dead on the bed.

More here...

R.I.P. La Parkita and Espectrito, Jr.

15 July 2009

$2,000,000 in useless flowers.

in the boldest move ever, richard jefferson smartly held off on marrying the woman with the lamest name ever. nets dancer Kesha ni Cole Nichols is still single. she's also probably living in Jersey, while rich jeff is moving to texas to play tonsil hockey with turtle head duncan. he is going to trade her in for a big blonde haired texan, i bet. the pakistan news reports that the wedding cost this dude $2 million bucks. what a clown.

26 June 2009

Moonwalking to Heaven

From all of us here at TJT, we will miss you Mike. You may have had some strange tendencies, but you always rocked our balls off. And to make this relevant to sports... witness one of the best superbowl performances of all time.

25 June 2009

Piggyback Shaq

First Kobe, then Dwayne, now LeBron. The Piggybacking continues...

Guess it didn't work out with Nashty and Stoud. Onto the next superstar and quest for a ring. We got love for the big man, but damn it must be nice to be 7'1", 350lbs.

What's gonna be his next nick name? Shaqen Loans?

Futbol Americano Style

As the resident Futbol expert at TJT, I thought I would give a shout out to the US Men's team for their stunning victory over World #1 Spain. This game has been compared to the famous 'Miracle on Ice' as well as countless other US victories over foreign superpowers in sports that hardly any Americans give a shit about. To even get into this game, the US team needed many things to break their way. In the final match of group play, the US had to beat an impressive Egypt team 3-0 and Brazil had to beat the reigning World Cup champion Azzurri from Italy. The US team came out striking and surprised nearly everyone by indeed winning that match 3-0 and had some help from the always impressive Brazil and surprisingly lackluster Azzurri in the 3-0 Brazil victory.

So, on to the semifinals... No one believed that the US had a chance to beat Spain, but with the likes of such international superstars as Alexi Lalas backing them with such incredible support as to say they will only lose 2-1, how could they not prevail? The US team came out like they had something to prove and they did. The first goal was an impressive show of power by 19 yr old phenom Jozy "Cozy" Altidore, screening off the Spanish defender to get a shot on goal which bounced off the keepers hand and the goal post to finally go in. A lot of luck was involved, but that's what you need when you are playing a team like Spain. On a side note, is it just me, or does Jozy look like a weird cross between Wayne Brady and Kanye West?

The US team somehow held on and blocked every shot that came their way and then once again had a stroke of luck to score yet another goal. One goal against this team was pretty unbelieveable, but two was unthought of. Clint Dempsey somehow found himself in the right place at the right time off of a Landon Donovan pass that bounced off a few players and finally found it to Clints feet and then into the back of the net.

The US managed to hold on and beat the mighty Spaniards and have now for the first time, made it to the final of the FIFA Confederations Cup. We await to see if they will be playing the home team of South Africa with their annoying bee swarming plastic horns, or the powerhouse from Brazil, headed by the big Kaka himself. Congrats USA, way to show them that these colors do indeed run, and they run fast.

Brazil wins in the 88th minute to S. Africa 1-0 so it looks like a rematch between USA and Brazil. Hopefully the US will play more like they did in the Spain game and less like they did in group play vs. Brazil. Gonna be a tough one regardless.

18 June 2009

parade por vida!

yesterday was all about CELEBRATIONS in lakerville. jubilation. excitement. a big fat raised finger to all the haters out there. beantown - suck it! lebron - never gonna get it! and both teams from america's wang - tears dont produce rings!!!
kobester's joy says it all...

d.fish has earned his street cred...

sweet spanish brace-face pau has found his home...

and laker fans have proven that despite their bad wrap, they heart their team, they heart bball, and they ARE down to come out in mass & cheer...

lakers - NBA CHAMPS 2009!!!

17 June 2009

Game 5, NBA FINALS 2009

We won.

We did it with style and class.

Kobe, you're the best.

And according to both Magic Johnson and Larry Bird, they also
say you're the most fun to watch and the best player in the game...

Lakers 4, Magic 1.

I'd say we shut up the media (Laker Haters) for at least 4 months.

More pictures of the game here and here.

16 June 2009

Game 5 interview

One of the jock talkers got a press pass and ended up in the 2nd row of the NBA Finals game 5 aka the final game of the finals. Here is an interview with him. A lot of hard hitting questions. 

did you get to go nearer to the floor when they won? 
I didn't get nearer, There were security guards in front of me and behind them were the scorers tables.  It was freakin close.
how was the celebration? 
The celebration was fun for us Lakers fans.  But the Orlando fans all left, so it was celebrations on a smaller scale.
did you get sprayed with champagne? 
I didn't get sprayed.  I wish.  I saw Phil get splashed, but only on ESPN.
did you go to the foxtails night club afterwards to party with lamar? 
Foxtails couldn't be found.  I would've loved to join those guys that night.  I bet Luke got wasted.  Bynum can't go out.  :(
did you have butterflies in your tummy? 
I had butterflies all damn game.  Huge stomach ache.  It was surreal.  It went by wayyyy quicker than it felt.
could you hear chatter from the laker bench?
I could hear chatter.    There was ZERO shit talking on the court until Ariza and Turkyglue got into it before that time out.
does phil say anything or does kobe really coach the team? 
Kobe talked a little - more to individuals than to the team.
is gary vitti short in person?
Gary Vitti is tiny like David Stern.  Just has a bigger goatee and has bigger pecks than Davey Stern.
how whispy is adam morrison's mustache in person? 
Morrison is gross.  He warmed up earlier with Lamar and Pau but came out in a suit later.  Not many people played in the game.
is lamar chocolatey? (sorry about that one) 
Lamar is chocolatey. Probably a mix between Milk and Dark.  Ewing is definitely dark.
did vanessa bryant look like a bitch? 
I didn't see Mrs. Bryant. I only saw wheezy, chris brown and NBA celebs.  I didn't see tiger or other big time peoples.
do you think kobe's daughters will be slutty some day? 
he didn't answer that one...

12 June 2009

Cool, Calm, Very Collected

Thanks Fisher for this moment...

Pau, You Truly Are My Homeboy

Pau, not only are you my homeboy,
but you're every Lakeshow fan's homeboy.

I bet Pau doesn't receive a penny from this site for
his face on these shirts, but really who cares right?

Game 7, NHL FINALS 2009

Nice quote sent to me from my homie.

"The home team has won last 18 game 7s in
NHL/NBA/MLB finals. Last road team to win?
The '79 Buccos."

I don't know who the Buccos are but
I'm sure it was a rad game 7 victory.

To the BUCCOS!!! Cheers!

Represent Kobe

Yep. Bringing the trophy back to L.A. where it belongs.

11 June 2009

boom boom pau

thanks bomarr!

Game 4, NBA FINALS 2009


You did it my man. Way to bring the pain when it really counts.
Homeboy goes 2-7 on threes but hits the most crucial ones. My boy...

Even Phil is pumped.

We did it, in OT nonetheless. Fair and square.

Lakers straight CRUSHED it in the final minutes.

Pietrus is a punk for that late foul on Gasol, but it's all good.

Bangin game from D-Fish. Congrats men. One game to go...
Tiger Woods, Lil Weezy, Rihanna, all on our side. Nice.

Still cant believe Fisher comes out of the freakin wood works to hit
those two crucial threes. What an amazing time to stop his
lackadaisical play and step up like the old days...
Nothin but love for you Fish.

10 June 2009

Game 3, NBA FINALS 2009

We tried, but just couldn't make it happen.
Orlando shot the lights out.

On the other hand, as for our Lakers...

The picture below is basically Kobe's night in a nutshell. Good shooting night from the floor, but the free throw line was his enemy. 5 missed free throws? Kidding me? That turnover in the last minute killed us...

A specific fellow TJT'er never believed me when I said Mickael Pietrus was going to be a good one, and that GS shouldn't let him go. Well now he's an important part of Orlando's Defense...

Hey Senor Rad Pantalones, yes, I'm talkin to you.

Good game Orlando, but we'll get the next two on the road and guess who will be there live to see Lakers taste victory???

08 June 2009

Game 2, NBA FINALS 2009

Pau and Lamar.
45 points.
18 boards.
5 assists.
2 turnovers.

Great game boys. Great game everybody.

Way to take it in the end.


06 June 2009

LOLers - NBA Playoff images

Baby VG
Talk to the hand bitch
European Sandwich
Odom has an interesting look on his face.
Jeezz dude. I've got shoulder envy.

I love the one of Sasha getting the squeeze.
Also Kobe giving Chaunc the "talk to the hand" hand in the face.

I found our kinda but not really rival blog. It's actually very good. Funny comments. I bet he likes our "blog" better than his. We're like the best NBA (all sports actually) analysts in the business. ESPN is picking us all up as a team to write for their site...
All these pictures are from this guy's "BLOG" thing but he's not the one credited with the pictures...